The Art of Kissing Ass(es)

DISCLAIMER:

This article contains a lot of 'ass'. The writer (ME) was merely trying to make a point. Kindly check out other 'non-ass'-ous articles IF you are allergic to 'ass' OR if the sight mention of 'ass' makes you cringe.

Uhm, He i (The Writer) will not be held responsible for any itching, rash, diarrhea or any other anaphylactic reaction that may arise after The Reading.

THANKS!!!

THE KOKO

Getting to the Top...or out of thy present state boils down to one thing - KISSING ASS. As funny or yuckY as that sounds, that is the root of practically all of Life Successes...ask politicians Successful People.

We kiss ass at school (to get good grades) - reading alone will not fetch you those grades, trust me. Kiss your lecturers' asses OR go home.

We kiss ass at our places of work - kiss your bosses' asses or get your ass fired!

We kiss ass at our places of worship - you need the blessings of GOD abi? Well kiss those holy men-of-God asses.

We kiss ass at home - unless you no longer need the *pocket money* OR *parental blessings*.

We even get to kiss that of our landlords - you do not want to get your ass kicked out. Do you?

Relationships (romantic and non-romantic) also involve kissing ass.

***So you see, ass-kissing is like part of daily living.

Several kinds of asses get kissed - clean asses and dirty asses, dark asses and fair asses, fat asses and wasted ones, smooth asses and wrinkled ones...even male and female asses.

You actually gonna enjoy kissing some asses (hard truth), you will hate kissing the rest...like you know, kiss them with ya eyes closed.

But in virtually all things...at practically all times, Ass Gets Kicked Kissed.

While it is a good thing to be yasef.. You know, to stand up for yourself, speak your mind and all of that, (i have also encouraged people to learn that art too), you should also know that In This Century, being successful may require you to go down low and, you know, Kiss Ass.

It doesn't matter whether you respect Buhari or not but that man was elected into the office of the President of Nigeria. He wasn't born into it but got to the top...and He did that by Kissing ass. By saying a whole lot of 'oga', 'madam', 'boss', 'I dey loyal' ish initially.

People like to feel important, like they have some power or control over you.

"one of the greatest control you can have over people is giving them the impression that they have the control over you."

Sometimes, it is wise that you let them have their way.

Make them feel acknowledged even if they're terrible people. Learn to Tell them all they want to hear...like you already do when you're talking to ya crush.

Learn their birthday dates, send cards, know their favorite colors and music, make them feel like you care, like you actually give a shit, give them credit even when it's not due them.

Pretty soon, they'll start giving you small crumbs. From there, you can get the whole loaf.

Conclusively,

To 'Kiss Ass' is basically about pleasing people, hyping people, making them feel special all in a bid to get something you want...You want something, abi? oya kiss ass

Victory 'Kiss Ass all the Way to the Top' Anosike.

PS:

This Article Was inspired by  @Trezhi

PS2:

One crazy thing that happens in LIFE's Kissing Ass is..,kissing the ass and realizing that the 'just-kissed ass' cannot offer you *shit*!!!

PS3:

Do not overdo Ass-kissing, people could get irritated the moment they begin to feel your spit on the skin of their ass...i meant that metaphorically, but you get the point.